I am sure that “hahaha” beginning would have made you think I am nuts, but I just could not think of another way to begin this blog. Now before you begin to judge me by the heading and the very psycho beginning, let me make some things clear to you.
Am I a homosexual? No, I have never felt amorously towards people of my own sex.
Have I had a major break-up? No.
Have I ever had major crush on someone? No, my crushes change almost every day.
Okay, now that I have cleared some things, I think I should begin with why you should stay single.
- You should share your Coke with him! Okay, if you are one of those girls who count calories before they begin to eat, this may not be quite helpful. But, if you’re like me, a total foodie, you just have to understand that NO boy is worth half that coke, milkshake, burger, spaghetti, shawarma and ice cream! We like food in full, not in halves. Nevertheless, he may insist on sharing it because it would be, oh, SO ROMANTIC. On the other hand, he may be just another miser who is trying to cover up that stinginess with the cliché-d idea of romance. So, there you have one reason to stay single- one really good reason!
- Dark circles ARE NOT CUTE! We all know how the best of romantic conversations happen at night. And, if you intend on having those cute conversations, you’ll have to stay awake till midnight, at least. And, you obviously cannot wake up really late because of school, college, uni or work. So, you end up having dark circles and dark circles ARE NOT CUTE! Moreover, he might start finding you unattractive and even the other boys might think you’re unattractive. So, you are left with nothing 😦 . Yeah, I know, they say, “If it’s true love, nothing as such would happen, blah blah blah”, but, why take a chance?
- Over-protectiveness. What if you find a boyfriend who tells you not to talk, hug or smile at other boys? You’d be so in love that you’d think it’s all cute, but you wouldn’t realize that you have lost liberty. He would CONTROL you, and who wants another father?
- Not all boys are hot. And chances are that your boyfriend will not be extremely hot because most hot boys turn out to be gay. So, when you spot a hot, heterosexual boy and are about to feast your eyes on him, you might feel a lump of guilt down your throat. On the other hand, if you’re single, you can stare at him without feeling guilty, go up to him and talk to him and may be, have a date with him.
- GIFTS COST A LOT. Birthdays, Valentine’s Day, anniversaries, New Year and Festivals mean buying him gifts. Buying him gifts would mean pondering over what to buy and ending up spending all your pocket money on him. Tsk. Tsk.
- If you’re going on a date, you cannot eat properly. Okay, face it, you would obviously be shy on your first few dates. So, you’re obviously going to be quite anxious about your looks, the way you behave and all. Who wants to bother so much? You might not eat well too. And then when you finally get comfortable, your stomach might rumble. First impression RUINED.
- EXPENSES UPON EXPENSES UPON EXPENSES! You may have escaped the cost of buying two Cokes, milkshakes, burgers, shawarmas and all that. But, the flowers you gift on the first date, the birthday gifts, the cost of dates, the gifts for valentine’s day, the gifts for New Year and festivals mean nothing but expenses. Girlfriends = a hole in your pocket.
- The emotional turmoil, tears and drama can be a PITA. A.K.A. pain in the ass. She spots you hugging a girl, you’ll have the “You don’t love me anymore!” coming your way. You sees you talking to a girl, she will want to know who that girl is. She sees you looking at another girl, she would ask you “Am I not good enough?”. With all that drama, you might not even want to look at another hot girl’s pic. Sheesh.
- YOUR PHONE BILL. I know this counts as an expense, but this is a day-to-day expense. Your phone bill is going to shoot up for talking for hours every day just to finish all that drama. And chances are that your dad might unson you for asking so much money and if you’re working, you’ll have to work more.
- We all know how much you boys love to wink and flirt. But, when you have a girlfriend, you just cannot wink at that hot girl you saw at the store. NO MAKING PASSES AT OTHER GIRLS. IF CAUGHT, CONSIDER DEAD.
That’s all my ingenious brain could think of. And, if after reading all this you think my brain has a few loose connections, let me admit, yes, I do have some, but not a lot. 😉
If you’re single, CHEERS.
If you’re in a relationship, I hate you. Kidding. CHEERS.