Reasons To Stay Single

 

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I am sure that “hahaha” beginning would have made you think I am nuts, but I just could not think of another way to begin this blog. Now before you begin to  judge me by the heading and the very psycho beginning, let me make some things clear to you.

Am I a homosexual? No, I have never felt amorously towards people of my own sex.

Have I had a major break-up? No.

Have I ever had major crush on someone? No, my crushes change almost every day.

Okay, now that I have cleared some things, I think I should begin with why you should stay single.

For girls:

  • You should share your Coke with him! Okay, if you are one of those girls who count calories before they begin to eat, this may not be quite helpful. But, if you’re like me, a total foodie, you just have to understand that NO boy is worth half that coke, milkshake, burger, spaghetti, shawarma and ice cream! We like food in full, not in halves. Nevertheless, he may insist on sharing it because it would be, oh, SO ROMANTIC. On the other hand, he may be just another miser who is trying to cover up that stinginess with the cliché-d idea of romance. So, there you have one reason to stay single- one really good reason!
  • Dark circles ARE NOT CUTE! We all know how the best of romantic conversations happen at night. And, if you intend on having those cute conversations, you’ll have to stay awake till midnight, at least. And, you obviously cannot wake up really late because of school, college, uni or work. So, you end up having dark circles and dark circles ARE NOT CUTE! Moreover, he might start finding you unattractive and even the other boys might think you’re unattractive. So, you are left with nothing 😦 . Yeah, I know, they say, “If it’s true love, nothing as such would happen, blah blah blah”, but, why take a chance?
  • Over-protectiveness. What if you find a boyfriend who tells you not to talk, hug or smile at other boys? You’d be so in love that you’d think it’s all cute, but you wouldn’t realize that you have lost liberty. He would CONTROL you, and who wants another father?
  • Not all boys are hot. And chances are that your boyfriend will not be extremely hot because most hot boys turn out to be gay. So, when you spot a hot, heterosexual boy and are about to feast your eyes on him, you might feel a lump of guilt down your throat. On the other hand, if you’re single, you can stare at him without feeling guilty, go up to him and talk to him and may be, have a date with him.
  • GIFTS COST A LOT. Birthdays, Valentine’s Day, anniversaries, New Year and Festivals mean buying him gifts. Buying him gifts would mean pondering over what to buy and ending up spending all your pocket money on him. Tsk. Tsk.
  • If you’re going on a date, you cannot eat properly. Okay, face it, you would obviously be shy on your first few dates. So, you’re obviously going to be quite anxious about your looks, the way you behave and all. Who wants to bother so much? You might not eat well too. And then when you finally get comfortable, your stomach might rumble. First impression RUINED.

For boys:

  • EXPENSES UPON EXPENSES UPON EXPENSES! You may have escaped the cost of buying two Cokes, milkshakes, burgers, shawarmas and all that. But, the flowers you gift on the first date, the birthday gifts, the cost of dates, the gifts for valentine’s day, the gifts for New Year and festivals mean nothing but expenses. Girlfriends = a hole in your pocket.
  • The emotional turmoil, tears and drama can be a PITA. A.K.A. pain in the ass. She spots you hugging a girl, you’ll have the “You don’t love me anymore!” coming your way. You sees you talking to a girl, she will want to know who that girl is. She sees you looking at another girl, she would ask you “Am I not good enough?”. With all that drama, you might not even want to look at another hot girl’s pic. Sheesh.
  • YOUR PHONE BILL. I know this counts as an expense, but this is a day-to-day expense. Your phone bill is going to shoot up for talking for hours every day just to finish all that drama. And chances are that your dad might unson you for asking so much money and if you’re working, you’ll have to work more.
  • We all know how much you boys love to wink and flirt. But, when you have a girlfriend, you just cannot wink at that hot girl you saw at the store. NO MAKING PASSES AT OTHER GIRLS. IF CAUGHT, CONSIDER DEAD.

That’s all my ingenious brain could think of. And, if after reading all this you think my brain has a few loose connections, let me admit, yes, I do have some, but not a lot. 😉

If you’re single, CHEERS.

If you’re in a relationship, I hate you. Kidding. CHEERS.

🙂

20 Replies to “Reasons To Stay Single”

  1. lolz.. some nice comments u got in there.. pretty interesting read and i agree with allllll that you have said up there and FYI there’s more.. but i think ill let ur “ingenious brain” think abt it all..

    BTW guys are not the only control freaks.. in most cases.. and most means 99% its girls.. and trust me, i knw it.. 😉

    oh n u forgot one weapon u girls use at all times of distress.. “TEARS” 😛 😛 😛

    Adios…

    1. Haha. Thanks. Well, I have mentioned about girls controlling their boyfriends when it comes to other girls. And, about tears? Read the blog again for I have mentioned that too. 😛

  2. OMG!!! so true! 😀 though im in a real relationship i shud really accept the fact what you have said is ALL true! i really would tell everyone whos single to be single and wait till the right time comes without dancing the jig to find some stupid guy to be all lovey dovey 😛 cheers to all. 🙂

  3. You are so cute 🙂 Take it from me, things are different when you are a teenager. I have been through that annoying phase of breaking-up and make-up and I always advise teenagers to invest in their brain rather than their heart because the former will never let you down.

    Three recurrent rants about your post: 1) Expenses 2) Boundaries 3) Over-possessiveness.

    1) Expenses: Unlike being a teenager, a twenty year old is more mature, can work and study at the same time therefore, he/she can handle the so-called expenses over gifts and phone-bills. Both me and Gehan aren’t very materialistic and if you do find a boyfriend/girlfriend (for guys who are reading this) who is very materialistic, just one piece of advice: RUN!

    If they can’t keep their wants and needs to a basic minimum, you are better off alone than being in a relationship with a toddler.

    Regarding phone bills, we live in an age of smartphones, social media and whatsapp that help keep us communicate for free. Phone bills should be a thing of the past.

    2) Boundaries: I am not fond of people telling what to do, what to wear or what to say. There is no better feeling than being surrounded by people who want nothing more than to see that you are happy. Never date someone that makes you feel insecure or who makes you unhappy with their words or actions. Move on. You will definitely find someone who will appreciate you for just the way you are for all your faults, quirks and scars 🙂

    3) Over-possessiveness: It’s normal to advise people on what to do (in a friendly manner, like constructive criticism) but don’t let the person dictate terms on you. Everybody deserves to be independent. We are adults not milk-sucking, dependent babies for goodness sake!

    That is all 😛

    1. Thank you. 😉

      Yes, even I believe as a teenager I should focus more on my studies. My parents don’t spend so much for nothing.

      All those 3 points you elaborated on make perfect sense. May be once I am 20, I’ll blog about how you have a partner. 😉

      OOh, and @Ifeelyoujohanna’s real name is Gehan! 😀

  4. “And chances are that your dad might unson you for asking so much money”
    Hahaha, I like how Facebook functions are becoming a part of real-life activities now.
    There’s a chance that I may have over-thought things a tad bit and gone in a completely different direction so brace yourself for what’s about to come. xP
    Relationships can be all drama most of the time, though not always from what I’ve witnessed. I know a couple of guys/girls who are currently in relationships and each handles them in very different ways. I personally think it all comes down to the type of person you are and whom you’re with and how the two of you choose to handle things in that relationship. Most of the stuff you’ve mentioned above is from a conservative person’s perspective if you ask me. Someone with more liberal views wouldn’t actually get annoyed seeing his/her partner “checking-out” the hot girl/guy that walks by and things like that but I don’t know… that’s just the way I see things.
    Let me tell you one thing though- guys should be guys and girls should be girls. You don’t go around carrying your girlfriend’s handbag while walking behind her (like her lil’ prison bitch) and then the moment the elevator door opens you rush over just to hold it while she enters in or you don’t post all these lovey-dovey related crap on her Facebook wall just because she told you to do so. Yes, this is the kind of shit I see happening to most of my friends who were once very tough guys. Some call that ‘being in love’ I call that turning gay! Doing the whole ‘one glass – two straws’ in public are the sort of things that make you look less of man and I feel are needless. Some may find these as means of expressing love but I think there’s a time and place for everything and just because you’re “together”, you don’t literally have to do EVERY DAMN TOGETHER. Lol
    So to sum it all up if you’re smart, flexible and logical about things, understand how the real world works, have your priorities straight, know how to manage your financials properly 😛 and most importantly if your partner shares the same interests as you then I think it’s actually worth a shot but then again I have never been in a committed relationship so maybe the kinda relationship I’m talking about is something you’d get only in fantasyland. The only reason I slightly agree with the whole relationship thing is because in the end whether you like it or not you’re going to be committed to someone so maybe it’s a good idea to get used to things early? I don’t know…. I’m no fucking love guru (Sorry, I needed to CUSS at least once to feel a lil’ macho again because even just writing the shit that some sissies do for their better halves made me feel a little gay about myself).
    Another super post! As always I look forward to more of your stuff..
    That’s alls me got for now. Cheers! Ciao!!!

    1. You definitely over-think. 😛
      Well, my post is one word, DRAMATIC. And, all you wrote is right. But, I don’t think you can expect so much from a partner. I mean, Jealousy is bound to be.

      I once received a message on WhatsApp that said “Find a partner with whom you can talk endlessly”, so, as you said same interests count.
      Cussing is perfectly alright. 😀

      Thank you. I hope I continue to write stuff that make readers happy. Cheers. 😀

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