Here is a sincere thank you note from all the women and women-in-the-making of Sri Lanka because we really owe it to you – an amazing bunch of respectable gentlemen!
Thank you, boys and men, who whistle at us as we walk past. We really haven’t shown enough appreciation. We promise to walk past you one more time the next time you whistle at us because we can really do with that ego boost.
Thank you to everyone who has stared at us for long enough for us to get really comfortable with the staring game. Our eye muscles appreciate the exercise you offer. Our hearts feel light when you look at us from top to bottom and repeat until we are out of your sight.
Thank you for groping us in buses and trains. Here’s a secret that only women share – we use public transport to be groped because it’s a fantasy.
Thank you, oh, tuk drivers, motorists, those in trucks, lorries, and anything that doesn’t have a tinted window. Thank for winking at us when the light turns red and you realize there is a woman among you. Your winking is why we pray for more and prolonged periods of traffic.
Thank you to the policemen, not all because some aren’t doing this protecting-the-country-and-its-people business right. Thank you for the totally decent looks and comments. That is exactly why a portion of our tax money is proportioned to pay you. We might consider petitioning for an increase in your pay when the next annual budget is announced.
To the groups of really hot boys, thanks a tonne for discussing us out loud. We are so grateful to have people talk about us because it would be insane to not want that kind of attention, right?
A big thank you to the gentlemen on behalf of the raped girls who haven’t even reached adolescence – we assure you they enjoyed it. The rape incorporated well with their childhood.
Thank you for sexualizing a kid who’s supposed to be playing with Barbies and not traumatic thoughts. But ain’t nobody got time for Barbies or any kind of innocent playtime!
For those who indulged in child-rape and later, killed the totally deserving child, thank you for saving her parents the expenses they would have had to incur in trying to educate her. You truly are a cost-saver.
Thank you for raping girls because they totally deserve it and ask for it. Who can expect not to be raped if they arouse your sexual desires, right? Your needs are obviously above everything.
Thank you, men of Sri Lanka, not all because some just aren’t understanding enough, for believing we are nothing but mere sexual objects. Your ideology is correct. We are nothing but sexual objects. We are honored to know you hold us in such great respect. It makes us blush.
Thank you for the comments, winks and catcalls as we walk past.
Thank you for making us uncomfortable when we are in the company of a group of men – gentlemen, to be precise.
Thank you for making our parents and loved ones worry about our safety when travelling alone, even if it may be in broad daylight.
Thank you for robbing away the innocence out of five year olds and replacing it with fear.
Thank you for all the respect.
Thank you for the feeling of security.
Thank you for everything. You are doing a great job in elevating yourself to a degree from which we could kill ourselves by jumping from your level of indecency to the level at which you hold respect for a woman.
THANK YOU. WE APPRECIATE IT. A LOT.
A post about the gratitude we feel towards you is not enough. Please feel free to catcall us, grope us, molest us and rape us as tokens of appreciation for all the respect, safety and comfort you offer us.
Thank you for we are greatly indebted to you.